Allen On Travel

A 30 year veteran of world travel (but knows nil about Orlando-area attractions), Will Allen III writes about his weekly odysseys by air on business and how the airlines rob him--and you--of time, the most precious commodity on earth. Time: It's all we have, and the airlines routinely take it from us. This blog challenges the airlines to keep their basic promises.

My Photo
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina, United States

Born 1948 in Kinston, NC and raised there in beautiful eastern North Carolina, I now live in Raleigh and commute around the country and the world.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Why Never To Fly To Australia In Coach: Part 2

In an earlier story (August 29th) the wife of a distinguished scientist related her portrait of the horrors of flying United Air Lines in coach for 16 hours between Australia and the USA. Recently her husband sent his own random thoughts to supplement her impressions, to wit:

"Mary left out some of the good parts, probably because we are still waking up at 3:30 AM and are a bit out of sorts from the flying experience in coach.

"We had a row next to the middle gallery. The video screen was off in the distance, and it faded to black-and-white most of the time. Nothing worth watching anyway. Movie selections were probably to keep the kids under control. I'm sure the many children on board were rapt with attention during the graphic Jennifer Anniston sex scene.

"I loved the reminder to assume the crash position if need be by putting your head on your knees. I guess that's possible in First Class. Bending over in my seat would drive my face into the headrest in front of me--or into that person's long hair, which in my case had been flipped over her seat
back into what I had assumed was my tiny bit of personal space. We put all the seat pocket magazines into the overhead and actually gained an inch of knee space.

"I knew it was going to be tough on my back, so I had my doc prescribe some pain meds. However, I couldn't take them because I needed to stay awake to keep my head up in the inherently cramped position of those tiny seats and spaces. If I dozed off and slumped over, I would get an excruciatingly painful neck ache. I guess it's the airline version of the old water torture.

"The United crew took away any hope of enjoying the so-called meal service in coach, served up in pathetic Dickensian portions, when they announced that we should not worry if our preferred chicken or beef selection had run out by the time the cart reached us 'because they both taste exactly the same.' Just one more example of their sad, sardonic customer service.

"On the plus side we took 9 flights on our journey, and all our luggage showed up, albeit a bit slow at ORD. But it was always a relief each time to see them."


Post a Comment

<< Home