Allen On Travel

A 30 year veteran of world travel (but knows nil about Orlando-area attractions), Will Allen III writes about his weekly odysseys by air on business and how the airlines rob him--and you--of time, the most precious commodity on earth. Time: It's all we have, and the airlines routinely take it from us. This blog challenges the airlines to keep their basic promises.

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Location: Raleigh, North Carolina, United States

Born 1948 in Kinston, NC and raised there in beautiful eastern North Carolina, I now live in Raleigh and commute around the country and the world.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I survived 8,433 miles nonstop over 16 hours between Atlanta and Johannesburg IN COACH!

Earlier this month I made another trek to the Kruger National Park in South Africa, this time taking my sister and an old friend.  Nothing new about going to the Kruger for me (see a long earlier post about it).  I love the place and have been visiting the wildlife park with regularity since 1991. 

But for the first time in almost 21 years of frequent travel to South Africa, I flew in coach.  Yes, I endured Delta's longest nonstop flight: 8,433 miles.  When the wheels go up on Delta 200 southbound and DL 201 northbound, the flight, using 777 aircraft, could last well over 16 hours before kissing the tarmac again.  The actual flight times depend a lot on head winds and tail winds.

In all my many previous trips down there I managed to fly in Business or First Class, but this time I knew it had to be on the cheap or not at all  And there were no great deals to Johannesburg in a premium class--at least not for travel in August, 2011.  So I bought the cheapest economy fare available, which was around $1200 altogether, and prayed that I wouldn't end up in an asylum when the plane touched down.

Delta came to my rescue in a small way by providing a slightly improved coach product called "Economy Comfort" class.  The first four or five rows of economy just behind Business Elite have 4 inches of additional legroom and a little better recline.  I gained access thanks to my Platinum status.  Economy Comfort also provides all entertainment options gratis, and free booze.  But there's no charge for alcohol in the rest of the economy sections of these flights, so I guess that's not a bonus.

The extra legroom probably made the flights a bit less uncomfortable than they might have been.  Since I didn't fly in the normal economy seats, I can't say for sure.  Any way you cut it, however, it certainly isn't possible to say that either leg was comfortable.  The flights were, at least, endurable, and that's a revelation to me. 

I viewed this trip as an experiment to see if I could endure one of the world's longest commercial flights in a cramped coach seat.  I did endure it. 

Furthermore, I think I could do it again, and that opens up a lot of possibilities for me since I can afford a lot more coach trips to South Africa than in a premium cabin.

So what was it like?  Well, descriptors that come to mind include boring; uncomfortable; tedious; unending; claustrophobic; at hourly intervals either too hot or too cold; and extremely cramped.  The food served was of a quality a prison warden would have trouble defending to the Texas state legislature, a body reknowned for its insensitivity to prisoner well-being. 

The flight attendants were long in the tooth and pursued their dry cabin crew duties and routines with what looked like studied resignation.  They made me feel young, and I am 63.  Advanced age is not intrisically a bad thing, but some of our FAs seemed to have long ago seen the joy of their work escape them. 

So sour were their demeanors and dour their contenances that I suspected the cabin crew might have received special training for these flights from ex-East German border guards.  Their strict stinginess metering out even a full can of Coke to those bold enough to ask raised more than a few eyebrows, and they were unapologetic about their reluctance to provide more than water.

The seats did recline a bit more than usual, but the bottoms were hard as iron.  I was among many who put a pillow or blanket between my backside and the seat bottom to relieve the pain.

One very bright spot that helped me to live through it was the entertainment system.  I didn't count the movies, but there were surely over a hundred on offer, along with a deep HBO selection of goodies like "Curb Your Enthusiam" and "Big Love" and comedy specials like Wanda Sykes.  When I couldn't sleep--which was most of the flight--I watched movie after movie after HBO special.  The entertainment system saved my sanity for 16 hours.

That's good, as I could not in good conscience read the books I'd brought.  That's because the overhead reading lamps were so bright that they disrupted the sleeping or dozing or watching of every surrounding passenger within a row in each direction and sideways.  I felt guilty using the overhead light, and I noticed noone else used theirs to read, either, presumably for the same reason.

The FAs came around at about hourly intervals with trays of water, and they left big water bottles in mid-cabin for self service.  We all served ourselves a lot of water.  In between the FAs disappeared en masse to the large galley in the rear of the plane.  I went back a couple of times to get a Coke Zero and a cup of ice, and the cabin crew obliged.  I also spent a good deal of time in the mid-cabin area standing and stretching to combat fatique and the physical pain of sitting in the tortuous seats.  That helped, too.

The lavatories were, with so many people in coach (almost every seat was occupied), never short of queues, and they became dirty quickly.  No FA ever came proactively to give them a periodic facelift and clean-up, so we had to ask for more tissue, TP, and paper towels.

Writing this now has brought back the awful feeling that swept over me when I realized about 8 hours into the flight that it was barely half over. 

The absence of the flight attendants (that is, as they stayed mainly in the back) made it all more tolerable.  Other passengers were as patient and cautious as I was in managing emotions and nurturing needs (mine and others), sort of like an impromptu support group.  We had to deal with the experience alone, without much interaction with or from the cabin crew, and ironically that seemed to work pretty good.  I can't explain why, but I am sure we all felt a bond and mutual desire to keep a lid on ourselves and others around us.

If the cabin crew was abnormally remote and cold, that didn't diminish the spirit or amplify the pain and discomfort.  Despite the challenges, I did it, I survived it, and I know I could do it time after time now.  Which is what I plan to do, because I love going to South Africa and the Kruger National Park.  Thank goodness Delta provides this ATL/JNB option.

A closing comment about the Business Elite section, which I closely inspected:  Delta's new sleeper seats have been installed on these 777 airplanes.  They are angled in as on other carriers' premium cabins and appear to be nothing novel.  They are run-of-the-mill lie-flat seats. 

I picked up one of the Business Elite menus as I left the plane in Johannesburg and inspected it later.  It is depressingly titled "Food & Drink."  Not even a pretense of style or luxe.  How very sad.  Inside it lists unimaginative descriptions (e.g., "Mixed Green Salad") of limited options, with a thin selection of 7 very inexpensive wines (if you count the port as a wine).

After gaining the confidence that the coach class 16-hour experience is clearly endurable, I marveled at how any airline could offer such a minimalist mediocrity as the Delta Business Elite product and yet ask $10,619.30 round trip RDU/JNB for it compared to about $1,200 round trip for a coach seat.

Bottom line:  I'll be flying this route again on Delta in economy.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

William,
I travel to Windhoek through JNB twice yearly, always in coach. SAA does a very creditable job in service and price. The food is pretty good and the flight flight personnel are 90% of the time very accommodating. I have flown from JFK and Dulles. Might be worth a comparison with Delta, which always manages to loose my luggage.
Regards,
Dave

8/29/2011 2:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I try to fly internationally on international airlines - not US legacy airlines. However I must tell you that if you decide to fly to Finland -DO NOT fly FinAir. Talk about cold, remote, and even hostile flight attendants, terrible food, and a freezing cold cabin. The rubber chicken I could not chew served for dinner from JFK to Helsinki reappeared on my return trip in a sauce.
OTOH - my flight from LAX to Sydney and back on Virgin Australia was great - decent food, very friendly and helpful cabin staff, a bit of room to move about and the economy seats were better than most. Both trips were in economy class - as I do not have the $$ for business class.
My one and only trip to South Africa - years ago was on SAA - tolerable - but long flights are physically and mentally challenging even on the best of airlines.

9/30/2011 5:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is very interesting. I have a trip on DL coming up in early march. The ticket was purchased for me by my hosts in S. Africa, so I can't complain a bit. However, I just noticed no seats were selected so I am stuck in regular Economy. I expect the same tedium as noted in this blog. Last time I went to SA it was on SAA. I went from Tampa to Dulles to J-burg to Durban. Brutal, but SAA is OUTSTANDING, and I was in regular economy. Staff is friendly, and there is a little more leg room. It was a hard trip, but what can one do? to think that we can travel this far in relative ease and comfort (rather than on a steamship or what have you) is a miracle. Still, it requires a little meditation, booze, movies, and a book light.

2/07/2013 1:21 PM  
Blogger Joy G. said...

William Allen, thank you for your post! Having done the same Delta 200-201 Atlanta-Joburg flights, my husband and I have empathetically laughed and greatly enjoyed your observations. I can testify that as of January, 2014, the Economy Comfort seats are still very hard but, with them, the trip is indeed endurable.

The flight got us to Kruger too, to hang out with our Peace Corps + NGO daughter as well as the animals in Kruger. We love it, too!
Upon our U.S. return, we had the extra amazing experience of getting through Hartsfield/ Atlanta on schedule during its first 2014 winter snow and grid-lock on January 29. Our connecting flight to Asheville was one of the two planes flying. We were the only life moving on the tarmac while it was empty and ice-glazed. Great job de-icing us! We arrived AVL within 5 minutes of schedule.

Great to commiserate with someone with some of the same experiences! Have a great weekend, Joy

3/07/2014 9:32 PM  
Blogger Joy G. said...

William Allen, thank you for your post!

Having done the same Delta 200-201 Atlanta-Joburg flights, my husband and I have empathetically laughed and greatly enjoyed your observations. I can testify that as of January, 2014, the Economy Comfort seats are still very hard but, with them, the trip is indeed endurable.

The flight got us to Kruger too, to hang out with our Peace Corps + NGO daughter as well as with the animals in Kruger. We love it, too!
Upon our U.S. return, we had the extra amazing experience of getting through Hartsfield/ Atlanta on schedule during its first 2014 winter snow and grid-lock on January 29. Our connecting flight to Asheville was one of the two planes flying. We were the only life moving on the tarmac while it was empty and ice-glazed. Great job de-icing us! We arrived AVL within 5 minutes of schedule.

Great to commiserate with someone with some of the same experiences! Have a great weekend, Joy G.

3/07/2014 9:35 PM  
Blogger Bert Duplessis said...

Very funny and true but if you've traveled this route more recently you will have noticed that Delta has woken up to the concept of customer service. The FA are still long in the tooth (hah!) but they are smiling! I quite agree on the inflight entertainment being the only thing preventing one from running screaming towards an exit door and rattling the handle... My records is 7 movies back to back to back to back to back to back to back... Ended up with a couple of chick flicks towards the end there.

1/21/2016 5:00 PM  

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